You never know

Went over to Dad's  last Saturday.  Turfman, (company I work for) had an account that needed service, took a few hours.   After work went over to Dad's to help him clean up a little after the wind storm (Ike came through Cincinnati with a fury).  If you just knew the love/hate relationship I have been through with my dad you would see what an event this actualy was.  A few years back I was pretty well down and out, homeless (staying with a friend) and I cut the ties with my family,  silly thing for me to do.  So, for the past couple of years I have been working on mending those broken fences.  From experience, never break your close ties, especially with family; with mom gone now, seems the family unit is no longer a unit.  I get a chance to see my sister every 7 weeks or so as she is on our lawn care program and lives on my route.  Dad I just call every so often, more here lately as he is going though a divorce.  (that is another story of its own) 

Anyway.... Dad, we just went around the yard where he had gathered all the brush blown out of the trees and cut it up into smaller pieces.  I was running the chainsaw as he would feed the pieces across the saw horse.  We did work together as a team pretty well.  Made me a little more appreciative of 'family'.  I do see things a little better now that I have a broken family of my own. Daughter, now 18 and in college and divorced from her mom.  My dad still sees me as a child, he still likes to give me advice and tell me stuff, so I listen and never talk back or tell him "I know".  With out my father I would not be here, this is one important fact I think everyone should realize.  If you are distant or fighting with your parents you need to stop for just a minute and think, with out these 2 people I would have never come to exist.  Pretty heavy duty philosophy when you reall get right down to the brass tacks of life.

As for my little brother... I love the little shit.  I don't see him much, never talk to him.  I usually call him on his birthday so I do talk with him oh say, once a year...   We are as different as night and day, my brother and I.  Only 10 months separate our ages and that does seem to cause alot of friction between us.   I always saw myself as the "older bro" and I guess he saw himself as my equal, so to speak.  We were fighting alot when we were growing up.  As the time has passed I suppose I have grown closer to my brother without seeing him.  Sounds strange.  Years ago when the family used to get together on holidays and such, I would see Jeff, and god he is a funny guy, he should have been a comedian.  Very witty and uses the Monty Python approach to most things.  This is the one fence that through my careless actions fell down and seems to be unfixable.Well come to think of it,  it may be unfixable but I can always rebuild.   I miss my brother and I think I am the only one who can refill that void, I will start to work on that.

 The old saying  "you don't know what you have until it is gone" comes home to rest.  Take it from the idiot who didn't know any better, hold on to what you have, I could be worth a fortune.